Greetings, Sac Bee newspaper readers. Yes, I am the famous “young electrical engineer” who is ready to assist you with your wild pig infestation. Me and my merry cohort of cow-orkers and friends are ready to rid you of your porcine problems.
- as a new and idealistic hunter, I am obsessed with hunting ethics;
- as a mild-mannered super-hero, I will not damage your property or bother your livestock;
- as the leader of my pack, I will stand responsible for my noble compatriots;
- as a crack shot, I guarantee pigs will be harvested with the minimum of noise and disruption;
- as a desperately needy hunter with few other options, I will share the delicious pig bounty with you;
My colleagues and I are based in Santa Rosa, CA, but we are highly mobile and well motivated. We prefer to hunt early mornings, but we are also highly adaptable to your generous offers of land access. We hunt with rifles and are exceptionally aware of the danger firearms represent.
You can contact me at email@example.com, or by phone at 707.292.3669.
(Shout out to Holly the NorCal Cazadora for the article)